If nerds_know.jpgyou sign up, you may choose to receive a "Nerds Know" bumper sticker. The stickers are numbered from 1 to 1000. Signing up also lets you participate in the forums, or ask a question of the Stand-Up Physicist.

Why offer swag? This stuff is hard to learn. The reason is our brains don't record video. We can deal with 7 digits at one time, not the 4 gigs required for season 3 of "The Golden Girls". Familiar things here look wrong, but are not. That's why the code is open, the command to generate the animation is there, the actual numbers are listed. Call my bluff, but it will require time to understand this stuff. You deserve a reward for the effort.

My cost: $1500 (printing + shipping).

If you sign up and publish 10 new quaternion animations at this web site, I will send the first 100 people a $10 check and a "Brief Definition of Spacetime" button. This software takes time to download and install, time to figure out how to use. The biggest block of time is in figuring out something new to do with the new tool. Sorry, the answers are not in the back of the book.

If you start using this software, I will presume you are good with numbers. Therefore you will figure out that the piece rate of $1 per animation is very bad. Keep the day job. Yet if a little chump change can get a group working in new ways, developing new math can be fun in a way nothing else can. I am willing to invest in making such a community.

My cost: $1200 (cash + buttons + shipping).

If you sign up and publish 100 original quaternion animations here, I will send the first 10 people a $100 check and a Turquoise Einstein t-Shirt. I certainly have run this program more than 100 times, yet most of those have been deleted from the hard drive. To make a 100 animations you are pleased enough to share, that will require a new skill.

The software and this site is designed for major league theme and variation. Like one result, fine, pipe it into another function. Heck, go ahead, make a flipping polynomial out of the result (yes, you can always do this - why you would do it is a different question). There is plenty enough new stuff that can be done. Yet this site requires each animation can be viewed a number of ways - with words, 4 images, math, and numbers. Those requirements are there so we do not waste visitors time: we respect the time people spend scratching their heads looking at this stuff.

My cost: $1300 (cash + t-shirts + shipping).

Vote early, vote often, anywhere between $3-100. This will not impact my finances, but will help keep the emotional boat afloat.

I go to one international meeting, one national, and two local meetings. The funds for such travel will run out in 2011. Connecting with professional physicists is vital if this research is to go viral.

Suggested donation: $3,000 for one year.

I would like to work on the math used by the Universe full-time. To convince my wife this is viable would require locking down at least 5 years of pay at my current salary. I am on good terms with a 513-S charity, so a stipend could flow through them for tax purposes.

Suggested donation: $300,000.

As part of my struggles to understand deep riddles in physics, I created an art collection. These are my favorite possessions, which I will not part with unless it represents the freedom to create a small team of people to bring these ideas to fruition.

Suggested purchase price: 7 pieces for 7 figures.